As a grown-up runaway I found out what “state of mind” means in America. The first person I encountered upon crossing the state line into Michigan was a woman opening a door for me saying rather directly and without question “your dad lives in Michigan…” There were no children around, I wasn’t hearing voices, it was more likely a matter of her noticing my New Mexico license plate and watching me move about frantically against a mellow locale. She might as well have said something about how I left and got all sick and now I’m back to infect everyone. But those are not the words they use around here, preferring instead subtle suggestions without cutting others down to size because most of us look upwards for strength. The pulse of the people is different all around the country as it relates to climate, literally and in attitude. It takes time to acclimate to the temperament of a place. For me, how people react to your acclimation is the state of mind for that area.
I breezed into Ann Arbor to visit my dad before heading north. He had the gift of subtlety that always made me think hard about what he said. A very simple statement by him would wind up being very profound to me. One of my favorites was “I’ll talk to you next year,” meaning don’t try to be on a level with me because you’re not there yet. Another quote along the same line is “you find out in a very short period of time that your parents know more than you do.” I mean, writing this makes me wonder if the guy would have ever taken me seriously but I guess he could see right through me. What I do know about him is that he needed transparency in his relationship with me and most people he knew. I believe transparency was important to him because of things he couldn’t bring himself to share, mainly Vietnam, and the fact that he saw and knew way more than he could put into words, so he exudes positive energy onto random people by engaging them in a familiar way. He knew people and what they needed to hear and how they would respond, mostly always positively. With ordinary people in the store and at the cash register you would think they were his longtime friend but really they had never met. That is my dad. I also believe that he deliberately told me simple things I would find profound at certain stages so I would think for myself and learn to communicate those thoughts. My dad was kind and kindness is a state of mind.
I find infectious personalities, those who emit energy and are blurry to most people, more approachable than the reverse scenario where a person drains energy from their surroundings and is sedentary. I’m not sure which transfer of energy shows more confidence but I’m positive the person who pays attention to energies is most likely spiritual. In meeting new people I gravitate towards the average individual who has a sense of humor and affinity for care and who is adaptable. I will pass on meeting the outsider who is creative and introspective and cautious but will acknowledge their talents from a distance. I avoid authoritative individuals because they can make me feel anxious and resistant. They try not to intimidate me but seem disinterested in knowing me further. In general I play well with others and there are a few of you that I can count on one hand as being my true friends. According to my dad if I can do that I’m doing pretty well.
Francis Erich McElroy 