The Germination of My Mind

I have to admit that I’m a little bit confused with all the extra thought I put into nurturing little seeds that have been planted by professionals and amateurs alike about my type of thinking that goes along with being both a recovering addict and clandestine schizophrenic. If I am going to get any better from decades of playing God with my free will I most certainly will have to listen to my free will so God can reveal which seeds to give a little extra thought and which ones to stop nourishing. If I take one seed and cover it in wet cement and take a different seed and put it in my ear, which one will grow enough for me to nourish and which one will not grow at all? God says both seeds will not grow because there is no soil, sun, nor water in the poured cement block and hopefully nothing can grow out of my head until I become food for thought or worms or whatever. My free will wants to come up with an answer to an insoluble question but God says no because there isn’t free will when you don’t ask the right question. The right questions to ask are those that have an answer from somewhere inside you. The answer isn’t derived from the question, the answer was always there but the question has us seeking an answer when the question plants seeds that are not meant to grow. The thing about my free will is that I know the seed is a metaphor for ideas so inside my head the seed is planted and grows. The question is whether I should cut it down as if it were a tree, eat it like watermelon, or let it indefinitely inhabit finite space like God intended, so as to put these ideas to good use. I think the answer here is clear.