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Francis Erich McElroy

Published posts, philosophical humor, deep thoughts.

  • What Is Stopping You From Reading?

    I flip the front cover of a book over to land on page 955. I’m sure someone more versed than I has found the exact middle of the book, for it has a beginning and an end. If I were to use a page number to locate the center of this book, would the exact…

  • It’s Good To See

    Hello, hello, hello? Can anybody hear me still? There is a frog the size of a cow over there, and I may be the only one who can see it! There is a field of dandelions the size of trees, blades of grass over my head. Stones the size of boulders, sand the size of…

  • You Are Brilliant!

    Let’s start over. I’ll be the teacher and you can be the writer. Come up with the first line then lean into the second. You are on your way to filling up a page with the progression of an idea you didn’t even know existed before those two lines. Now fill in the body of…

  • Sober for Good at the Goose Intervention

    Eric wants to walk through door number one, a tiny door he would never choose to enter without mounting courage or actually falling from grace.  The king riding the tallest steed throughout the kingdom tends to never duck his head to miss the astonishment of onlookers who have only heard him cussing on the turret…

  • Four Stones from a Guru

    Share five things you’re good at. I sauntered right up to the toughest guy on the block and told him to look at this little tiny jewel I have clasped in my hands here and when he did I kicked him in the shin so hard that he pummeled me into the ground until I…