I done thunk a lot and I come up with maybe I oughta go sit down nare in a chair in front of a computer I seen and type. I’d think better if I do it sooner instead of put my phone in my hand every so often which is where my vocabulary seems to … Continue reading Learn to Code
Every life I come back reborn, a lot less shaven and a bit more confused about who is the predator and who is the prey. Every decade I get smaller, my ears get larger with more hair and I gain more confidence in my ability to find food and shelter. Every year I take a … Continue reading I do not digress
I can’t write anymore. I wrack my brain instead. I’m searching for a beginning to this session but all I can come up with is frustration. Holding my head in my hands like a balloon that is being squeezed skin to rubber. A tormenting sound that has me wanting to break stuff in order to … Continue reading Inflate Your Imagination
I knew I should never give it up. But I did anyway. I gave it all away. I just delivered my greatest quote to a complete stranger for them to take it all and fill a blank spot with my ideas. I can’t claim the words as mine. I can’t make them stop. I know … Continue reading Take My Name
I should just choose one thing and go for it. Just pick that one thing I love to do and find a way to do that the rest of my life and get paid for it. I could find a way to sell one type of product out of all the products that are needed … Continue reading One Thing Leads To Another
The incessant fine line is where the sky meets the sea at the horizon with a clean tear between the lit sky and undulating water. The distance away is what makes it fine. The illusion of melding continuous scenes of movement with stark or sometimes subtle contrasts of nature’s color and depth makes a west … Continue reading Writing Before Sunset
To build a home you don’t need right angles, you need the right intentions. To build a bridge you need more than one bank and to connect two banks you need integrity. A highway needs more land than can be covered by foot but to get some place fast you need intuition. A skyscraper looks … Continue reading Interesting Introspections Into Intelligence
The landlady pinches her pennies and polishes her silver while the addict goes through hundreds of dollars in a day to not feel sick. She’s holding her money, he is going through his. They both need it. He needs something else even more than money. He needs more than a name. He needs to take … Continue reading The Landlady
Engineering is a broad term for finding the way to take materials from the ground and forming them into objects that house us, clothe us and that move earth around to get us food and water. The essentials for survival are designed by engineers who use math, science and technology to make our lives more … Continue reading Engineering Our Modern Headspace
I have to get out of this room. The knowledge. What people believe is mind boggling. I have to go. I have to get out of here. But knowledge can’t hurt me. I would be better off staying. To learn. I don’t have to contribute. I can sit here and listen to them explain. The … Continue reading Sneaking Into A Lecture
I still have a long way to go as a writer. Sitting on the throne at work I noticed the toilet paper roll had been changed. I knew it wasn’t me. Looking at the floor I saw a lone hair and thought that’s who must’ve done it. I chuckled. I began to think of how … Continue reading Taking a Break On the Moon
This word for that word. This sentence over here. The more I engineer the more I find what is wrong. To keep the artistry I change it in the least. Use the same words and keep the sentence long. When something tells me that this is a rhymer the next thought in my mind is … Continue reading #14 – write a rap song
My wriggling thumbs and dotted eyes fixed and transfixed on the glow of avarice that is between me and the ground and a barrier between everyone around that is not as well off as I. Find yourself and there you are, a split second from everywhere else you want to be but you’re stuck inside … Continue reading Nothing Taboo
The challenge of a two point try is not all that risky if there is time still to make more points. I would like to take the time to try to explain the similarities and differences between insanity and fate. Fate is what is going to happen to us because of our actions but is … Continue reading In Defense of Insanity
A little peace of mind goes a long way. I could do anything I wanted now. I could go back to college or I could hitchhike back to Albuquerque where I had probably unwittingly been contacted by spirit jesters when rubbing elbows with strangers who enlisted in the University of New Mexico DMT experiments of … Continue reading 11 – The Contact
Finally I am released from the hospital after a month of progression into a stable psyche with hopes to never again break into a fragmented mess of illusory, mental disturbances. Only after asking the question “what just happened,” as it was happening, am I able to remember enough to later write it down. I had … Continue reading 10 – The Surface
Time is on my side. The more time that gets behind me the better I feel about the length of seasons though years fly by. It seems the more unfinished business you have the more you get to stick around unfinished. I wish I could play the tape all the way through before I make … Continue reading Borderline Person Poetry
Sometimes when I sit and think, it’s too much for me. To sit and think is too much for anybody. To really sit and think puts too much time on my hands. Sitting and thinking gives me too much time to think about sitting…and thinking. Thinking about sitting is thinking too much. It looks to … Continue reading Anxiety
I can’t feel the fire. I don’t have a single thought inside my head. I can’t resolve the words I heard today or make sense of what I’ve said. I don’t want to know more than what I’ve heard for years. I can’t tell much more than what’s been put through both my ears. I … Continue reading Near Pointless Poem
I’m growing old. The eyes I look into remind me that I’m tired. The eyes I avoid remind me that I’m not dead. I’m growing older. The way I’m able to hold my family together and get up on time for work, hold my head up for eight hours and do the things I need … Continue reading Growing Old With Purpose
A highly riddled man walks into a restaurant in America for a bowl of curry. He is seated at a table by the front door. A door he has walked through a dozen times before. So many times that he notices the menu has changed, not the food but the format. He is visiting the … Continue reading The Nice and Quiet Bigot
Kneeling by stream water to swill out the sacred wine vessel with water I see my reflection in nature as a Tudor but with no real desire to sit high on the hill as a monarch or even kneel before those I would later betray for golden horizons as a perceived pauper. Next time, when … Continue reading The Sacred Vessel – Fraudulent Monarchy
“Who is that,” asked a young man, a little while back, who was not familiar with anyone outside of his own inner circle. At that moment Eric had stepped out of a van concerned he was not on to something, not on something like everyone else, but on to something like a story he was … Continue reading Replace the Word “Swill” with “Design”
It’s 95 degrees in the shade and I’m zooming through the desert where there is no shade. The side of the road is whipping by but the sun just sits there all high and feverishly hot over here, not moving. It seems to not be moving any place with the perception of my eyes but … Continue reading Fifteen Hundred Miles from Here
The wooden ship appeared on the crest of a wave and perched there for as long as frozen things can remain frozen at freezing temperatures. Not forever since the cycle of water is a cycle. The ship would not be toppled for another century. I know this because I am the only one who will … Continue reading Wooden Ship – On Fire and Ice
I’m going to keep it real nice and simple. The reason I write the way I do is because I do not do enough talking. I think through these sentences while writing and change words around to make sense of a portrait inside my brain. Think of my writing as a sweaty window. To most … Continue reading For the Non-Believers
Oh whoa is me. I have a blank space here in front of me that needs to be filled by tapping poetry with the house tablet and a universal mind. I'll have it filled out in no time. The only trouble I see for now is I have to jot other things down that I’m … Continue reading Poetic Apology
Oh cadmium yellow now, call me back to those long distant sun reflected patches of green pasture upon brightened hilltops before mountains become cloud covered again to dull the hillside captured in paint for eternity all dried up before I have the chance to splatter titanium white upon thee in lieu of cadmium yellow for … Continue reading The Need for Cadmium Yellow
What am I good at but running my mouth? Why do I keep quiet unless spoken to first? Absolutely whatever I decide to write is sufficient to say because nobody ever talks to me about that. I could write Donald Trump is awesome or love is a rose and I’d probably get more love than … Continue reading Significance is Everything but I am not
I used to run around in my twenties saying mushrooms are good sport after I went on a heroic journey that left the automatic asshole in me behind only to be replaced by the trigger shy nice guy for a good solid decade. This turned out to be the greatest augmentation of somersaults inside my … Continue reading The Vitality of Being Nice
My #poetry over time has changed by using words I’ve heard before ever knowing their meaning, and binding those words together to sound similar to each other, telling rhythmically the meaning of what I believe worth finding a cadence and with words I’ve never heard before in that sequence, how to give those words meaning. … Continue reading Tag Words Almost Explained 3
Music is played mostly in his absence but Eric feels it’s sacred energy through the crowd and through the city into steel and concrete through fibers and hair into his heart and out through his eyes as an exposure to the scene. Similar to the way mushrooms communicate with vegetation in the same biome - … Continue reading In the Interest of Shoes
They told us once you put something on the internet it is there forever but money runs out, people die, so why do I complain about AI. A free whiff of eternity and a spot in the 2D digital world, up against only every video game and porno girl. I think I’ll be buried deep … Continue reading WWW
“Do you like Eric?” asked a bewildered young hippy to a seasoned pro as they crossed the field out to where the ring of cars and buses ended before jumping off the literal edge of the earth. Eric heard the question but would not hear the reply. All he heard was “noooooooooo” getting faint and … Continue reading Change the Name
#Mental health is to remain being yourself when everything you know is inside your head trying to get out. It is the most important quality of ourselves perceived before we become more like others. With limited understanding of us people will only ask questions or comment on who we used to be before you changed … Continue reading Tag Words Almost Explained 2
#Art to me is taking culture out of space and displaying that culture into new dimensions to practice and interpret on my own time. #Creative writing is making a sentence go the way you would like it to go if you only know as much math as you have fingers. Better yet, it is the … Continue reading Tag Words Almost Explained 1
It was not great speaking to you just now. The way you bring up my thirty year past tells me you have a problem with the way you’re living today. You think thirty years and I’m still the same cat. Get your lips off that beer, talking about health, I’ll have none of that. The … Continue reading Letter to a Friend
If I was alive a hundred years ago today I would most definitely be famous. I’d have all these words to make a new American style of writing. It wouldn’t be science fiction but rather just a synopsis of how one may think in the future if he were not very well read and under-educated … Continue reading The Dilution of Fame
Another interesting part of my journey thirty years ago out of acute care that is worth noting is I was able to help others by simply getting better before their eyes. Not only did I recover but I had a positive impact on other patients because of the composed way in which I transformed madness … Continue reading 9 – The Compassion
I I have forearms of the same length holding hands behind myself. I have clean fingernails while clenching fists at the collar of apes. I entertain the chapter of italics around sulphuric impulses while drastically ensconced in torrential fun. I am passed about in a ring of city fury while worshiping flesh brutality. I am … Continue reading Tyranny and Liberation
The “next step” of my hospital stay began sort of like how my life began. I emerged from darkness into a bright and sterile environment with doctors wiping away my tears and cutting the cord to my sustenance. In the dark I could’ve cried all I wanted and nobody would come to wipe my tears … Continue reading 8 – The Birth
I would like to see the back of my head with no props or manipulation. Just a good look at what it must be like to be me while not being me which is quite impossible. The back and the top of my head I would like to see. I’m closer to seeing the back … Continue reading The Great Reflection
They came to get me but it wasn’t in the middle of the night. I was led from the sanitized sanity of the commissary, down the ever encroaching hallway passed the curious closet towards the damned doorway, which finally swung open with precise timing. I passed through the archway and stepped into a room with … Continue reading 7 – The Ward
I woke up one morning to the nurse telling me that my unit rival had moved on. I was bummed because when I got him alone in the same room he didn’t poke at me or ramble on feverishly about being Jesus inside the walls and God walking on air like he would say in … Continue reading 6 – The Closet
After one day I was so comfortable in the ICU hallway I began to look like a cowboy leaning against a post with his head down and a blade of grass between his teeth, waiting for his shadow to rise or fall without moving a muscle. I would sit on the ground with my legs … Continue reading 5 – The Hallway
The type of animal that I saw in the mirror every morning in the hospital was close to the chimpanzee but something more bipedal. The last one in a long line of chimps but first from the right on the chart of evolution. God's favorite. The human being. If God has a long white beard … Continue reading 4 – The Hospital
I was like a disheveled rainbow child whose name should’ve been Rain. I tried to learn from traveling and the streets, the inner workings of the world but I didn’t have a vision or even a simple plan. I had the more complex idea to take another run at college. They said my peers were … Continue reading 3 – The Classroom
The trailer was a lonely man’s hell hole where nobody could escape without invisible wounds. It was my trailer, where the impossibility to study was brought on by disparity in character but also boisterous low flying war planes that would swoop down as slowly as they could while I barely slept, watching the action from … Continue reading 2 – The Trailer
When I was in my twenties I was searching for this one complex man with a familiar face I saw in the college library who was shocked by the computer screen before him. I figured he wasn’t shocked by what was on the screen but in awe of the computer itself. I was intrigued by … Continue reading 1 – The Library
Have you ever noticed that people change but the DJ stays the same? It’s the same with the weather changing but the weather person never misses a beat. Have you ever noticed that if you are paying total attention to a movie the writers will find a way to include you in the story, but … Continue reading Me Neither
Cowboys are Americans that have the strength to be All-American when the grandeur of nature swallows them up. Americans look at national parks the same way the rest of the world looks at stars - when questions of why we are here become more explicable we preserve the moment of awe then make it seem … Continue reading I’m Afraid of Americans
“My guru taught me that,” I have never said to a guru. You can only have one guru and a guru identifies as a guru apart from other guru’s. Meaning a guru has a heightened awareness but doesn’t go above other gurus who attain enlightenment from a guru themselves. Get three gurus together, I wonder … Continue reading My Own Guru
Climbing the hill to the Acropolis the philosophers think about the little engine that could before there was a story about a little engine that could. The philosophers know what is before them before the rest of us remember how these things go. But with a little help from philosophers that little steam engine will … Continue reading The Acropolis as a Metaphor
Forget being smart. It’s like being aggravated. Walking the line between dumb and elevated, taking the time to come up with stupid rhymes makes for a break in the fake of new lines. So take off your hat, take off your shoes, get back to the brass of the gold in fake news. Forget being … Continue reading Forget Being Smart
Redistribution of wealth is not the rich sharing their money with the poor but rather ordinary people giving more wealth to banks as their debt is increased causing inflation thus less purchasing power for coming generations. Debt becomes money. One dollar is really worth a billion dollars if it is used a billion times to … Continue reading Plentiful
Gram’s voice is like a train on the chug with a cargo of coal, no intentions of reloading the cars for the stoker, just going as far as he can make it. Always searching for the new sound even though his soul was old as a steam engine, he was as fresh as steam. Twenty … Continue reading Gram Parsons
So now back to Europe, Switzerland to be exact. It’s Christmas Day and I’ve decided to climb the foothills of a mountain to perch somewhere and reflect on the full year. I packed some bread, wine, and calamari in American sauce, my go to for a growling stomach and bored headspace. The foothills were open … Continue reading Switzerland – The Other Fellow First
I’ve said in the past that my mind twists words around, making them better than what was actually said. It is sounds I need to be more concerned with, not speech. More accurately, it is sounds turned into words that have me worried I am all too human. Most of us are not great at … Continue reading God Is Sound
So what do you say to a young man who kicks his first bell with perfect precision, besides warning him it can only be rung once? Absolutely nothing. Unless you have kicked the bell yourself, will you measure him against your own reputation. Does a young man know the bell to be a symbol of … Continue reading One Good Ring
A finger dipped in water makes believers want to follow down the aisle of the church thirst for the devil. A finger dipped in wine makes the users want to sip the vin de pays first then down the moscato. A finger dipped in moonlight makes guitar strings crescendo before giving the vibrato another note … Continue reading #4 – write a poem
Immortality. It doesn’t exist. Even if you are the most famous fictional character ever penned you can be overlooked. Admiration does not guarantee a perpetual existence but it does extend an invitation to live a good life. When people like you, it’s easier just getting by than it is buying the affection of others that … Continue reading Penniless
I told my closest friend the other day that the more I like my own writing it seems the less other people like it. This is far from true since I really absolutely adore my writing and I am the only one who reads it. His response was interesting to me as he stated that … Continue reading Faces of Your Past
You don’t have to tickle their feet to realize a robot is without feelings. No need to laugh at them being worth billions in barrels of oil. Robots have us throttling towards environmental exhaustion though they are designed to make our lives easier. There has never been a robot known to swim before the megaton … Continue reading To Bot or Not to Bot
If what, how, there, and now. This stuff is confusing. I must be trying to lose the few readers I have. It’s nothing new ripping on yourself to let other people know that you know you’re no good. But you are good. And so is the reader because they press on. Press on by seeing … Continue reading The Question Being
My way with words can be twisted, inspired by recurring thoughts and sparked by co-occurring epiphanies, making the process of writing anything hard to do when quick thoughts become redundant. I’m lost within my creations, clambering around thoughts that arise at the same tempo as words put together in a similar sequence to lyrics, relatable … Continue reading A Prolific Thinker
Create. To make something out of nothing. To start a project from scratch. To pass time by making art. To cause life. These are all examples of what I think about when I hear the word create. One word that links all of these sentences together is the word “to.” The word “to” in this … Continue reading To Create
I remember the time I was asked how come I don’t know people have more intelligence than me. That stripper was certainly smart but did she mean all people and if so why was my intelligence in question and not my propensity to ignore all the people I’ve come in contact without asking even one … Continue reading Naked Intelligence
When it comes to ego all objects have the ability to break down and reassemble into more solid versions of themselves. Ego is seeing the built environment take a backseat to nature and believing nature takes a backseat to you. The forces of nature cause ego-death for the purpose of inspiring humans to see the … Continue reading Solid Ego
I have found that a broad spectrum of simple thoughts gets more attention if they are made tangible like a ball of wax. There needs to be more mistakes in writing that allows the reader to manipulate a sentence by wondering if what they just read is right and if it’s written the same way … Continue reading Mind Wax
I like water. It tastes good. It moves. It freezes. It boils. Water is everywhere and is clear blue where I’m from. There is also green in large waves if the sun hits it just right. When a painter tries to capture a wave smashing into a rocky shoreline they can’t use just blue or … Continue reading Oil and Water
As a dragon slithers out of the sea, a heart shaped sun rises beyond it then splits into a broken heart swallowing the dragon. All of us will experience the death of a beast by the love of one god within a galaxy of similar gods, and in one universe under God, even if only … Continue reading Ouroboros
The most interesting weekend of my life involved three separate incidents that happened but I can’t prove them beyond a reasonable doubt because they are so bizarre. The first incident involved stones being thrown on our roof, the sound following me from room to room and thought to thought. I remember there being an intense … Continue reading The Most Interesting Read of the Day
“No. I should be able to sit next to the Prince,” I have said never. “Yes. I could use a headline,” I aspire to say. But before I give up my seat and beg for attention I would like to disclose that I have more to say about the metamorphosis from delight into madness that … Continue reading The Dimensions of Wind
When I was younger I always wanted to be a messenger of light. I’d walk around telling an uncle here that his drawing is really good and an aunt there that her basketball game was really fun to watch. But the message I really wanted to deliver was that the chandelier over the staircase was … Continue reading Message of Light
My name is Erich. I am the same Erich your hero asks, “are you still driving that same piece of shit, Erich?” That is me. The reason I can say is because your hero is my hero and saying “that” piece of shit puts me in the same vicinity as our hero. I often wonder … Continue reading What’s in a Name?
There are two people that matter most in the grand scheme of things. They are not comedians as comedians give a complex for being understood by mostly everybody all at once. They are not actors as actors give a few seconds of fame though fame is not how they are known. They are not musicians … Continue reading Black and Blue
I lay completely content here under the stars as my smile absorbs countless points of light but reflects only a single glare from one shiny tooth back to the cosmos. If I wasn’t content I would most likely have to divvy up one whole star into 32 incarnations of god inside my head. One whole … Continue reading Star Light, Star Bite
Everything matters within ten seconds or not at all. Within ten hours everything becomes familiar and can be repeated over and over again. At the ten day mark everything settles into a routine and the only way to get there is to start all over again. At ten months it’s time to play catch-up so … Continue reading Everything in Ten
What if I survived a plane crash high up over Albuquerque that wasn’t caused by bad weather but instead resulted in changing weather by me going nose to nose with the ego of someone on a similar plane of existence as my own? Seeding of clouds with my smile would cause people on the ground … Continue reading People On The Ground
All of these pants seem so filthy anymore. Every single one of them khaki with dark spots that ripple out from the center like oil soaking rags. I feel sorry for people being worn by filthy pants because they can’t see beyond their lap. They have no idea the more filthy their pants the more … Continue reading Slacker
I am sprawled out at the shoreline of this Great Lake looking through blue sky as best I can, making it seem endless, until slow atoms floating across my eyeballs bring me back to focus on what lies beneath my ability to see forever. All I can hear is the lapping of waves and the … Continue reading The Hourglass of Nature
I woke up this morning and I woke up again this evening after waking up this afternoon. I put one eye and one ear, along with half my nose, into my pillow for fourteen hours before I counted to ten, ten times, to get me out of bed. I paced my room back and forth … Continue reading So I Slept
I would like to go ahead and augment this sentence by putting an exclamation point at the end of it! Before this post is complete I want to come up with a detailed explanation of its phrasing so the reader will know the direction of a sentence. So the purpose of this post is to … Continue reading Contents of a Sentence
An acorn falls from a tree, hits my shoulder and lands at my feet. I have no choice but to pick it up and squirrel it away in my pocket because the cap will make a fine whistle and it seems to be good luck when things fall from the sky and plop on or … Continue reading Dumb Luck
And the king stands up, turns around in a circle and sits down once again. He is far from opening up the gates for his subjects let alone walking to the fridge to see if the light still works. Wondering what it is to be American when you are the king would be similar to … Continue reading To Be King
I am younger than the sun and still I follow my instincts to go around this wild earth with nothing more than a thimble full of courage. I am younger than the earth and still I follow my heart when going around this wild country with a fist full of dollars. I am younger than … Continue reading A Thimble Full of Courage
When I drink I’m the smartest guy in the room. Then I realize I’m the only guy in the room in a house that is vacant, in a town that is ghosted, in a country that is strange, and in a world that doesn’t exist. So let there be serenity in this room. Then I … Continue reading Serenity
Sometimes my mind goes asunder when I have to choose between being just a guy on the couch or being a reflection in that part of the sky druids have reserved for their favorite animal traits and gods of natural phenomena. I’ve been so completely shattered before that I thought the constellations were aligned with … Continue reading Starface
I walk the line between prodigy and master. And then I wake up, dust myself off, and put my little league trophy back on the shelf. The world is a large place with endless competition and I am the one getting played like a tuba. There is only one of me in a huge ensemble … Continue reading Blow Wind
I was a thirteen year old imaginative kid running around saying that someday humans will put all information and knowledge into a crystal somehow, bury one and shoot one into space, so that when we are gone future inhabitants or visitors will know what we had been up to before our untimely demise. They will … Continue reading Time Capsule
“I can’t think,” is what an elderly lady was saying over and over in the hospital that first time which I like to call the Big Blink. That is where I bit my tongue, literally, for hours before I fell into a state of catatonic slumber for a week, not able to remember a damn … Continue reading The Big Blink
Letters are an incongruent assembly of lines and curves until they become a myriad of pictures. Some people can draw the straightest lines that on there own would seem unnatural but when they are put up against thousands of curves the perfect line becomes an extraordinary story. Some artists use curves and points to fill … Continue reading Dancing Letters
Guilt happens when you have been told your whole life that when you die you will go to heaven but you question if there is a heaven and instead you find yourself trying to explain to friends there is a simulation that makes you immortal across infinite universes but only if you choose to join … Continue reading Infinite Atoms
Each one of us thinks we are very important, as important as the next guy, and we are, but a person is awarded money to purchase resources from the ground for doing good and a small amount of elitists think they do the greatest good. Measuring a person's worth in this way may be an … Continue reading The Universal Reputation
I used to jump off a high drawbridge, which was illegal, testing the waters to see if my cautious side would surrender to the turbulence of fear versus bravery that could be mistaken for stupidity. There was a lot of foreboding brought about from previous mishaps and my cautious side would ensure me avoiding injury … Continue reading Drawbridge At The Center of Town
I like to go running. And then I wake up wondering what was I running from. Was it a giant scythe wielded by a laughing witch seeking mold to make a potion to paralyze me? Could it have been a long winded lecture about a sabbatical gone mysteriously right but instead I get marked wrong … Continue reading Gondola to Eden
I am conceited when it comes to my perfect little hands. I will gaze at them for too many minutes as I scrunch four fingers to the top of my palm, revealing their shortness and sophistication compared to an ape. How shiny my fingernails are, and how many galaxies would I destroy if I were … Continue reading Little Hands
Humor is dough for the soul that is transformed from the mind into an impression of our body as it rises with laughter. It is body english that lets the jester know he is on the right track to making a crowd laugh before he rolls with the punchline. Laughter is how the king responds … Continue reading Humor
Why do I always have the feeling to hurry along going nowhere? I suppose the nomad in me has never left. It used to be that I would get the idea to go far away with a destination in mind. To meander with purpose towards an ideal outcome. While on my way there I would … Continue reading Hurried To Go Nowhere
I could sit here and listen to a podcast where people discuss AI or ancient civilization but the more I listen the more I understand how science and God are connected which traditionally goes against some moral coding, so I will continue to listen. Listening to passionate people along with an occasional expert rant about … Continue reading The Lure of Podcasts
When I drift into the empty space of my childhood I am reminded how rigid my memories are from that period of my life, as they are so few. A place where my behavior was more sedentary then the chaos that ensued during my more troubled years when I was hyperactive and impulsive. This shows … Continue reading A Spectacle of Ideas
Forget your elegant inclusion of a statue with half an arm, or one and a half, himself protruding but not obscenely addressing his spatial situation, pointing in regards to where you may find yourself. Open to suggestions without opinion, mouth shut, closed fist, weak intentions. Sitting softly, fixed and mired, a great defeat and undesired, … Continue reading Take Back The Right
I have been wanting to write but unable to get out of the game. This game has no winners, so losers never quit and winners never play. The game is called sanity - mental order that takes very long to get started and a short time to end, not to be shared or borrowed but … Continue reading The Game of Synchronicity
I sometimes feel backlash from people out in public because I have difficulty joining a society that is changing so fast it is nearly impossible to conclude it is good change we are experiencing. Sure the technology is great, having a robot in your pocket, but the information is so vast I normally don’t commit … Continue reading Guilty of Suggestion
I came back to reality by journaling what was happening around me and so I will trust that this is where I began to make sense out of where I was emotionally, where I was headed. Having been partially successful with the recovery process before, I had decided to finally stop the madness when I … Continue reading The Point of Serenity 1
In this early recovery I am realizing that if I don’t side with the ideology of sobriety I won’t have any friends to share with the fact that I am sober. If I can’t share it, I won’t be sober much longer because of my own persuasion to seek what I know. My reason for … Continue reading Misery Loves Company
I have an affinity for making something out of nothing. I can take a blank piece of paper and with words make a mountain seem not so majestic. I do this by dimming down the description of the land mass, portraying its majesty as an obstacle in my way rather than a canvas for something … Continue reading The Duel
“Memory is sometimes understanding the when, where, who, and what but never the why.” -FEM To understand these questions you need to pick an object, place, or person in time and give them a characteristic and name. Put another way, if you were given any topic in history to discuss, you would have to … Continue reading The Philosophy of Why
“If I had to count the times I didn’t do what I set out to do I wouldn’t count myself out.” -FEM Motivating yourself to continue being stubborn towards setting goals is like training all day to get ready for bed. Training means you have an expectation of where you’d like to be in … Continue reading Motivation
“I practice self awareness when people react to me.” -FEM It’s good to have an audience but it’s best to personify those things that attract attention before revealing to the curious your line of creativity. What better way to know your own material than becoming the maker of the mold not the material. With … Continue reading The Oligarchy of Art
“No book has ever been written that explains the way I think.” -FEM How many of you have read a book by Socrates and have been so enamored by it that you read it over and over again, took many notes and spoke long winded about it to your friends? Of course you haven’t, … Continue reading Silent Book
“The more people you meet the more wisdom you exert and less knowledge you establish.” -FEM I’m not one of these people that go around meeting everybody in the same field nor do I have others coming up to me wanting to shake hands with a guy known for his accomplishments and astute rise … Continue reading Exert Knowledge
“The greatest good that comes from thinking about the past is thinking about it now.” - FEM It’s hard to say that the only time we have is now because there is a timeline of thousands of events preceding this moment that are also owned by us. I think it is healthier to live … Continue reading Spontenaity
“Inertia makes for a decent decade but a wasted lifetime.” - FEM It seems to me if one second was equivalent to one snowflake then rolling around a snowball to make the head of a snowman could contain up to ten years - while the rest of him, packed tightly, could hold a lifetime … Continue reading Inertia
My number one obstacle to success is that I don’t follow through with ideas I have at the most basic level to change my complacency towards wanting success. I am not emotionally lazy by any means, just too comfortable with my basic ideology while navigating through the day. If I had specific instructions on how … Continue reading Now Read This
Now that I had arrived back home it seems I would now be able to move on with my life, maybe go back to school, get a job - rather than lay around Albuquerque trying to fit in with punk rock artists but falling short by drawing help with rent from a few Marilyn Manson … Continue reading Home Again
I haven’t left the boundaries of Michigan for more than five days in over fifteen years and I have no plans to do so. Writing about my trip to Europe is really reliving my glory days when I was more spontaneous, adventurous, and brave. Rome was the most glorious of all places I’ve been because … Continue reading Rome – Bending the Rules
As a grown-up runaway I found out what “state of mind” means in America. The first person I encountered upon crossing the state line into Michigan was a woman opening a door for me saying rather directly and without question “your dad lives in Michigan…” There were no children around, I wasn’t hearing voices, it … Continue reading Home II – Kindness As A State of Mind
I headed north towards Colorado, stopping in Taos where I got half a haircut for free because I wouldn’t let the butcher finish the job. After several years of free flowing hair I shouldn’t have stopped at a barber shop staffed by old men who probably nip the bottle between shavings. I mean in the … Continue reading Home I – Delaying Fame
Did you know that morning glory grows out from the cracks of sidewalks and buildings in Athens? I only know this because a Brit strolled up to me asking me a slew of questions about where I’ve been, then determined I am from Michigan, and showed me how to seek and process and consume the … Continue reading Athens – Introducing Hypnagogic’s
Sometimes when I’m alone I get the sensation that everybody is waiting for me to burst into response to the buzzing in my head which sounds like how I imagine electricity passing through water would be. It is always at the same frequency and from a vast range funneling towards me instead of radiating from … Continue reading Silent Prayer
The train clattered down the coast of Greece towards the South Peloponnese with seemingly loose rails as we managed tight curves upon cliff tops. I wondered how in the hell would we make it to the beach without rolling down the high, steep hills at a fierce angle following the train engine, whipping the caboose … Continue reading Greece – Embracing Conflict
Albuquerque was an enigmatic artistic place. So much in fact that the city dwellers cared more for the homeless individuals style than the homeless individual cared for their own boundaries and how to fashion their presence from public spaces. We were in awe at the library within a maze of books when a character not … Continue reading Albuquerque II – Calling It By Name
I am here to tell the truth so that when I look back on my life I don’t regret that for over half of it I was numb to the fact that I can write well. I am writing what I know. Whether I am describing a structure that surrounds me or the construct of … Continue reading Albuquerque I – Exploring Change
Buzzing around Chicago on public transportation with the blues again, finding ways to get by on stockkeeper wages, was not how those students at the University of Chicago existed. I used to play this game at Central Michigan, my alma mater, where I would know what the teacher was saying as they said it, as … Continue reading Chicago II – Connected By Entertainment
I am passionately rewarded, having divvied my time immersed in ageless squalor, awarding ambition by gathering the collars of sordid men impudent in their comedy with dire truth in pointless prophetic consequences, defaced, penniless, treading their feet short of honor, making all this nonsense afforded, a lack of emotion by severing a balance in character, … Continue reading A Proper War for a Copper Coin
Let me segue back into this part of my life by saying you carry the blues with you wherever you go. At some point I’m going to have to discuss why my experience with dual diagnosis was not drug induced psychosis. The real simple answer is that I didn’t use drugs but a few times … Continue reading Metamorphosis and Dual Diagnosis
Chicago is the city where I was just a seed in a wheat field being swayed by wind, swirling within golden waves of a million clusters which would one day be milled into bread. Why not? Bread and wine filled me up quite a bit on my travels. After my backpacking trip to Europe, which … Continue reading Chicago I – The Color of Boredom
It’s fitting that twenty five years ago around this date on Thanksgiving I was in Ireland away from my family. If someone told me twenty five years ago I would one day have a family of my own I wouldn’t have been surprised. If that same person told me I was going to be battling … Continue reading Ireland II – Self Discovery and the Courage to Know
So with happiness in my heart I hopped onto a Ferry headed to Cork, a coincidental name. It seemed appropriate enough, since I didn’t drink wine too heavily in Paris, beer would be okay for me and cheaper, grainier, more filling. The boat was definitely going towards my destination because the shore had become an … Continue reading Ireland
So I had peered over the edge into the belly of conflict between my imagination and fear of brutality. It was time to move on to another city, a place where one has to pay to pee but where you easily make up for that when purchasing day old bread. It’s strange that I did … Continue reading Paris
So as the jokers would want, I began to listen and watch at a tertiary level the bazaar that was before me. I was not an active participant nor was I applauding. I was enjoying the whole experience as an outside observer because that is where I was coming from, out of my normal self. … Continue reading Amsterdam II
I am adored. Systematically overturning my sad disposition by honoring all I know with not all I have done. I will not digress with casualness nor fright. I will bolster kindness and sleep through the night, with eminent domain forlorned on a serrated cot. In an instant captivated by game, building pluralism to impress upon … Continue reading Sunset To Sleep
There came a point when I had to stop doling out wine and bread for sustenance, as hat-money was not covering our feverish pace. Okay, bread was not the issue, but that I had found comfort in Micky. For me to be protected from harm and stupidity I would have to pay him back with … Continue reading Amsterdam I
I am particularly oppressed by remnants bestowed upon a genius at any particular setting, endowed to the latest trend of a pillar between the irregular bridge transcending the best of everything, sacred to a fabled few, ingested by mass conformant’s, diligently reclusive and open to a pious over tuned disappearing sort of facade. Drunk of … Continue reading Fish No See Moon
As a young man I broke away from my sheltered upbringing by leaving the lakes and beaches of home, heading to the ruins of Dresden with a notebook and a backpack sized for a mule. I met a premature mentor carrying a guitar and possessing a shaky voice. With the promise of hat money, and … Continue reading Dresden, Germany
My mind is a mountain. My eyes are the sky. My heart is the sea. My feet are a river. My arms are a tree. How much greater could it be?
Hurry up my trekking probe, selective voice, sing to Percy while writing in cursive. Your downtrodden response had a saintly glow like two-legged crickets who act as servants to your muse. You think too much of wandering, in an hour is distance. You put out your fist with a flip of a switch and carry … Continue reading The Quarry
Book. Books. Bird on heroin. Word. Words. Fish on line. Flowers on wallpaper.
How fragile we are. How delicate our bones. How small we are. Walking along the beach, stooping down to examine a salmon jaw bone that has been weathered by sand and surf, and bleached by the sun, thinking that time didn’t make the symmetry of this perfect jawline. Then you remember that perfect lines are … Continue reading Fossil
Why are you sitting under that tree by yourself on such a frigid and damp Friday night? Are you listening for the crowd? I mean literally, are you listening FOR the crowd all sopping wet. It is sound that makes us seem larger than life to ourselves, a cycle of silence so aversive in numbers. … Continue reading Junior Night Lights
Writing is a dream. When I am in the process of forming a thought onto paper, what is actually conveyed is not what I’ve heard but what I’ve seen. It is positivity that I’ve witnessed today. Images over time that culminate in a picture that can be described but only in the seconds before it … Continue reading Moonshadow
Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
Francis Erich McElroy 